STUFF THAT DOESN'T SUCK VOL. 2

The wait is over, the oft delayed, never requested second volume of  STUFF THAT DOESN'T SUCK is here! Anyway, here's some good stuff I''ve been digging lately.

JONATHAN COULTON

As a rule, I can give or take comedy singer/songwriters, so despite endorsements from the likes of Neil Gaiman and John Hodgman, it took me a while to get around to sampling geek troubadour Jonathan Coulton. I watched a (poorly animated) youtube video of his semi-autobiographical song "Code Monkey" and thought it was pretty good but wasn't blown away. However, as days went by I frequently found myself humming the tune and decided he deserved a closer look. A month later I have 20 of his songs on my ipod. That's more than The Rolling Stones.
For those unfamiliar, Coulton is a former computer programmer who left his job to concentrate on his music and has become a genuine Internet sensation. The subject matter of his songs leans towards the geeky, lots of sci-fi and other pop-culture subjects, so I admit I'm inclined to find him interesting, but that's not to suggest that he's a novelty, or even a niche, performer. His lyrics are always insanely clever, but also insightful and, as often as not, emotionally poignant. The melodies are simple, elegant and hard to resist. If he has any precedents, I would say he leans more towards They Might Be Giants or early Bare Naked Ladies rather than someone like Weird Al, for example.
Some of his best tunes include, the afore mentioned "Code Monkey",ostensibly about a disgruntled programmer but really a profound statement of loneliness and dissatisfaction, "Skullcrusher Mountain", a moving story of unrequited love from the POV of a super villain, "Mandelbrot Set", a rocker about fractal geometry, "Shop Vac" a scathing indictment of the suburbs with a catchy Beatle-esque chorus, and "Ikea" about....well you can guess, and perhaps my favourite "Re: Your Brains" sung by a zombie but really more about the syntax of business speech than brain eating. I also recommend, "The Future Soon", "I Crush Everything", "That Spells DNA" and "Chiron Beta Prime".
Funny, astute, eloquent and crazy smart, this man is no novelty artist.

WTF with MARC MARON

I could, and probably will sometime, devote an entire post to my addiction to comedy podcasts. For know, however, I think I'll stick to my current favourite, "What the Fuck" hosted by Marc Maron. Mercurial, cerebral, occasionally aggressive and admittedly self-absorbed Marc Maron is a veteran stand-up comic with a lot of friends and acquaintances in the industry, and therefore a seemingly endless supply of fascinating interview subjects. However, Maron's "complicated" personality and his need to dig deep into what makes himself and his friends tick, prevents WTF from becoming a dull, self-congratulatory exercise in mutual admiration. The interviews are, of course, frequently hilarious but also a bit confrontational, often confessional and always (ALWAYS) interesting.
Some of the best include, a two part conversation with Louis C.K. which is as much about healing the rift in their friendship as it is about Louis' career, a drop dead funny, but slightly contentious chat with Patton Oswalt, illuminating interviews with the likes of Sarah Silverman, Dave Attell, Maria Bamford and Joe Rogan and a really good recent show featuring Conan O'Brian at his sharpest and most outspoken.
I'd particularly like to single out three interviews with comics who, I confess I do not like or respect, but still proved to be compelling interview subjects. In a two part interview with notorious joke stealer Carlos Mencia, we're introduced to a man who is clearly a bully and a blowhard but also deeply insecure and filled with self-loathing. Maron's conversation with legendary 80's hack Gallagher, which ends with an abrupt walk out, exposed just what a shallow bitter failure he (Gallagher) is as both a comic and a human being. Finally his interview with Dane Cook (Dane Cook!) was surprisingly engaging and articulate and left me still not a fan of his comedy but with a new found respect for his professionalism and work ethic.
So, if you're at all interested in the art, business and craft of comedy this is a must listen, but even if you aren't particularly, this is still a series of unique and penetrating interviews with interesting people. As for me, I always have at least two episodes on my iPod.

MOTHER LONDON

This book has been something of a holy grail for me the last few years. I'm a longtime admirer of Michael Moorcock's fantasy/sci-fi work, in particular, the brooding Elric stories and the trippy adventures of Jerry Cornelius, but I'd always been curious to read "Mother London". A complex "literary" novel championed by the likes of Peter Ackroyd, Iain Sinclair and Alan Moore, this book is often cited as Moorcock's masterpiece and, frustratingly, has been out of print in North America for years.Well, browsing in a second hand book store last month, I was delighted to come across the trade paperback edition pictured above, in excellent readable condition. Happy to report the book was not a disappointment, of anything it surpassed expectation.
"Mother London" is an intricate and eloquent portrait of the city of London from the Blitz through the 1980's, told from the point of view of three main characters, coma survivor Mary Gasalee, writer David Mummery and magisterial dance hall performer Josef Kiss. All three are wonderful complex people whose unique abilities and points of view provide the richest possible canvas for Moorcock's profoundly  humanistic vision of a great city and her people.
I will say however, this is not really a novel for readers who demand a strong sustained narrative. This is more a series of character driven vignettes with a complex shifting time line. Certainly, the narrative is there but it is a simple and elegant one that only emerges gradually. I wouldn't call this book a difficult read, not a showcase for affected or ornate language certainly, but it does require patience due to it's lack of a conventional plot. If you have this patience you'll find "Mother London" a rewarding and moving experience.
I think this is one of the great unsung and under appreciated English novels of the last half century.

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN (and why it matters)

Just recently I was decrying what I called the blandness of current Canadian culture which, it seems to me, is primarily driven by gentility and political correctness ("Trailer Park Boys" not withstanding). In particular,  I was observing that it had been a long time since I'd seen a Canadian film with any balls that wasn't directed by David Cronenberg. For the record, I'm a huge fan of Guy Maddin as well, but his films are so unique and singular they seem to exist in an artistic universe entirely of his own making. What I'm really talking about is genre cinema, the more violent and edgy, the better. Well, I guess somebody heard me because here comes Jason Eisener's "Hobo With a Shotgun" to blow away the usual gutless complacency with a shot of pure exploitation.

The film originated as a contest winning mock trailer, shown with Canadian screenings of the Tarantino/Rodriguez double bill pastiche "Grindhouse". As one of the few who bothered to see "Grindhouse" on it's first release, I was lucky enough to catch the "Hobo..." trailer and it's well worth a look. I think I would have enjoyed it anyway but I was especially tickled to note that this contest winning trailer was shot in my hometown of Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. Not what you expect when you come to see the newest Tarantino offering. When I heard it was being developed as a feature, I was at best marginally interested, even after Rutger Hauer (of whom I am a huge fan) had been cast in the lead. Seemed kind of cool, but nothing to get too excited about.

Well, wrong was me. "Hobo with a Shotgun" is tasteless,  blood-soaked, indefensibly ugly in every sense of the word and the most entertaining film I've seen so far on 2011. There seems little point in dwelling on the plot. Nameless hobo enters corrupt city run by an insane criminal called "The Drake" and his loathsome sons, sees enough, snaps and  picks up a shotgun. The mayhem escalates quickly until a bizarre, and seemingly unstoppable pair of mercenary killers called "The Plague" are called in to take the hobo down. (I was particularly taken with "The Plague" as they could have stepped right out of a Mad Max film. I mean, that's just cool.)

So what we have here is an ultra-violent, revenge driven cartoon with equal parts 70's vigilante movie and 80's gore show. Think "Taxi Driver" meets "The Toxic Avenger" and you'd be on the right track. The visual style is consistently interesting and exciting, textured and grimy but bathed in saturated colour recalling Dario Argento's seminal Italian horror classic "Suspiria". I grew up in the cities where this movie was shot and I barely recognized them (except for a few obvious landmarks) so complete was the horrific little world they created. It's too early to say what kind of career director Jason Eisener will have but I can tell you, he's a talented young man who, whatever the pulpiness of his subject matter, already shows a sophisticated grasp of film technique. The violence and action is shot and edited with greater clarity than most of today's big budget Hollywood films. That sounds like hyperbole, but I assure you, it is not.

The cast is a solid collection of good local actors (including a cameo by Rob Wells of "Trailer Park Boys"), but needless to say, Rutger Hauer looms large over the proceedings. I've been a fan of his since "Nighthawks" (81), and "Blade Runner" is one of my favourite films so I'm always glad to see him and it's great to see back him in a lead role. The hobo isn't much of a character on paper but Hauer invests him with all the grizzled intensity at his command. Even dirty and ragged he remains a riveting screen presence. I never dreamed that the man who played Roy Batty and The Hitcher would ever be kicking ass and wasting scumbags on the streets of my home town. Gotta love the movies.

So, as you can see, I'm enthusiastic about the movie, really the last time I enjoyed a purely Canadian genre film this much was "Ginger Snaps" (2000). Admittedly "Hobo With a Shotgun" is not for everybody but, for someone like myself who has a love for all kinds of movies, including a deep affection for exploitation cinema, it's a great time. More than that though, this movie, despite it's extremity, is a step in the right direction for Canadian movies. I come down pretty hard on our film industry sometimes, but that doesn't mean there aren't Canadian films and filmmakers I love. Of course there are. What I can't stand is how anemic our film industry and culture is overall. Too much of our national film production depends on government funding, and, more often than not, that leads to safe, officially approved subject matter.  This was not always the case. There is a history of tax credits being used for edgy subjects, most famously David Croneberg's feature debut "Shivers" (aka 'The Parasite Murders'). This nasty little horror gem, about the residents of an ultra-modern apartment block being driven to sexual madness by a venereal parasite, caused a lot of controversy when released, but it kick-started the career of the artist I consider our greatest filmmaker. We need some more of this and maybe "Hobo With a Shotgun" will lead the way. Frankly, I doubt it, but one can hope.

B MOVIES & BRITCOMS

Hello there, sorry for my long absence. It's been a bit of a stressful month for reasons which I am ABSOLUTELY NOT going to go into here. Still not certain what this blog is, but it sure as hell isn't a forum for me to bitch and whine about my silly first world, middle-class white guy problems. So don't ask, 'kay? (Well for those of you who actually know me I will say it has nothing to do with my marriage, which as far as I know couldn't be better. My wife is awesome.)

Aaaaaanyway, long story short, I've been distracted and restless and completely unable to finish any blog posts I started. I have three saved drafts that range from almost finished to barely a third done but I'm putting them aside to talk about what I've been watching the last 3 weeks plus.  For the record I don't really care for the idea of "comfort" or "therapy" films but I do find in times of stress that I do tend to gravitate towards certain subject matter. You can probably guess where I'm going from the title of this post.

B MOVIES

I do not use the term"b-movie" as a pejorative, it's simply a short hand term for certain kinds of films, usually horror or sci-fi, which were made quickly and with a relatively low budget. Not only do I not look down on this kind of cinema, I find it to be absolutely vital, generally filled with more guts and imagination than your more traditional "classic" cinema. I like vintage low budget horror like Hammer or Roger Corman, the grimier 70's "grindhouse" style as well as such oddities as Japanese giant monster films, spaghetti westerns, Italian "giallo" thrillers, all sorts of stuff.  For whatever reason, I've found most of my movie viewing over the last few weeks has fit broadly into the category of "b-movie" or even "exploitation", so I guess these are, for me at least, "comfort" viewing.
Wonder what that says about me?

So here are some movies I've been watching:

X: THE MAN WITH THE X-RAY EYES

Directed by Roger Corman in 1963, this is an outlandish but surprisingly smart and thoughtful science fiction drama. Ray Milland is a scientist obsessed with improving human eyesight to a point "beyond the visible spectrum" allowing, amongst other things, doctors to give instant diagnosis with out having to perform exploratory operations. Sounds simple enough, I know, so he decides, of course, to experiment on himself. Surprisingly, it all goes terribly wrong.
So, on one level, I suppose, we have the fairly predictable story of a brilliant but disturbed mind who goes too far in the name of science. What's interesting is the way it goes wrong. It becomes apparent that Milland has begun to see too much, implying that his field of vision has penetrated to the very edge of reality itself! Can madness and tragedy be far behind?
Pretty cool stuff for a low budget quickie. Milland's performance is never less than dignified and believable, the script is surprisingly downbeat and serious despite the outrageous premise,and Corman's direction is clean and efficient. Not a great piece of cinema but still worthy of respect and consideration.

A BUCKET OF BLOOD

Another classic (of sorts) from Roger Corman, this time from 1959. A micro-budget black comedy about Walter Paisly a not-too-bright busboy who yearns for acceptance and respect from the beatniks and artists who frequent the cafe where he works. Finally he achieves this with a series of macabre sculptures, and that's all you're getting out of me. A witty script (especially the atrocious beat "poetry") a likeable performance from Dick Miller as Walter and a very brief running time (66 mins.) all help make this an entertaining, if odd, little gem. I wouldn't recommend  going out of your way to find this (unless, like me, you're a Corman admirer) but if you were to come across it on tv, by all means, give it a look.

RAW MEAT (DEATH LINE)

A very strange and interesting British horror film from 1973 which beats "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" by a whole year in it's portrayal of degenerate inbred cannibalism. (A great achievement, I know.) Anyway, seems there's a family of the afore mentioned cannibals that have lived for generations in the London underground and have just now begun to make themselves known. The cop investigating is Donald Pleasance who manages to give a terrific, quirky performance that seems to come out of a completely different, and much wittier film. Also notable is Hugh Armstrong as "The Man" the primary cannibal character. Despite being covered in filth and sores he somehow he manges to convey the humanity of the character, and he does it with only one repeated line, "Mind the door!". Somehow this manges to be kind of moving and, I'm not gonna lie, pretty funny.
Too slack in it's pacing to be a horror classic, but not without interest.

VAMPIRE CIRCUS

A relatively late entry (1972) in the Hammer Studios horror canon and a rather good one. Yes, there is a circus, and there are vampires, also a mute strongman played by David (Darth Vader) Prowse, the requisite creepy dwarf (all circus horror films need at least one) and a surprising amount of gore and nudity. Like all Hammer films it's surprisingly classy and literate one moment, pulpy and over the top in the next. The premise, however, of a town's gradual seduction by a weird circus is consistently interesting and not unlike the great Ray Bradbury story "Something Wicked This Way Comes". I think anybody reading this will know whether this is something that will interest them or not.

IT'S ALIVE

I remember the TV commercial for this, scaring the life out of me when I was 6 years old. Don't know what it was, something about the little claw hand dangling from the wicker baby basket just struck me as intensely creepy. So, here I am many years later and I finally decided to give it a view. First off, it's not particularly scary, although there are a few suspenseful moments. It is however, smarter than you'd expect and takes the central ethical conundrum (what do you do with a dangerous monster that is also, an "innocent" baby?) seriously, while scoring social commentary points about unsafe pharmaceutical practices. I've seen other films by Larry Cohen and they all manage to sneak a surprising amount of satire and political content into even the trashiest material. Kind of an underrated genre filmmaker, I think.

GAMERA: GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE

So, Gamera is this giant flying turtle that shoots fireballs out of it's mouth and he's here to defend us all (but especially Japan) from a giant prehistoric birdlike creature called Gyaos that eats people and shoots some kind of beam, also from it's mouth.  They fight and it's awesome! No...really.

Seriously though, this daikaiju (giant monster) film from 1995 is actually very entertaining, well paced and with good production values.

I've always had a fondness for these films, and this is a particularly good one.

SANTA SANGRE

Okay, this one doesn't really belong with the others. Although it certainly has elements of a horror and exploitation, this is a film by Alejandro Jodorowsky the auteur of El Topo and The Holy Mountain and like those others, it was conceived and intended to be art with a capital "A". Now, I've always been of two minds regarding Jodorowsky's films. I find them fascinating and weirdly compelling but, also, egregiously pretentious and visually repellent. Happily, I can report that with "Santa Sangre" I've finally found a Jodorowsky movie that I can fully embrace. By sticking to a more linear (for him) plot and playing up the genre aspects of the story he's finally given us compelling characters and something like narrative momentum. Ostensibly, this a serial killer thriller with a convoluted back story that I wouldn't dream of spoiling, but on this narrative thread he hangs images as inventive and unforgettable as any ever put on the screen by the likes of David Lynch or Fedrico Fellini.
A bold and unique piece of cinema highly recommended to anyone who enjoys the unusual and the outrageous.

BRITCOMS

So that's it for movies, but I've found over the last month, that I've been indulging another interest of mine, as well. I'm not one of those snobs  who boldly announces that British humour is automatically superior to American. That's simply not true, but it is true that the British are masters of all sorts of comedy and have produced some of the funniest people the world has ever seen. The nineties and the "noughts" proved to be no exception and there was a real flowering of comedy talent in the U.K. and Ireland, most of which has made it's way over her, but not all.
When I wasn't watching strange movies over the last month I was usually watching some kind of comedy from across the pond, mostly on DVD, but some online. I'm going to stick to discussing only what I watched during this period, so unfortunately, although they may be mentioned, there will be no real discussion of "The Office", "The League of Gentlemen" or "Black Books" and of course, I've already written about "The Mighty Boosh" so no need to repeat myself there. So, Britcoms I have been watching include....

SPACED

"The Mighty Boosh" is more imaginative, "Black Books" is (arguably) funnier and "The Office" cuts a lot deeper, but no TV comedy from either side of the Atlantic, elicits the kind of affection I have for "Spaced". Written and created by Jessica Stevenson (now "Hynes") and Simon Pegg as a reaction to glossy American sitcoms about twenty-somethings nobody could possibly identify with (*cough* Friends*cough*), "Spaced' told the story of Tim Bisley and Daisy Steiner, a couple of likeable, even potentially talented, slackers and their small circle of friends. Beginning with the, admittedly lame, sitcom premise of two friends pretending to be a couple to get a cheap London flat, "Spaced" over the course of only 14 episodes created an entire comic universe filled with a geek's dream of film and pop culture references that never seems forced or precious.
The supporting cast of characters is a delight. There's Nick Frost as Mike obsessed with guns and violence but also, kind hearted and childlike, Mark Heap as Brian, the tortured artist who lives in the basement, Katie Carmichael's self-absorbed fashionista, Twist and the brilliant Julia Deacon as Marsha the drunken landlady with hidden depths. With the exception of Twist (who's well played but underdeveloped) all are granted their full measure of humanity by the actors and writers.
However, no matter how great the supporting cast, what really elevates Hynes and Pegg's concept is the bold, cinematic direction of Edgar Wright. TV is a writer's medium and rarely does a director get to assert himself the way Wright does here, with his whip pans, dutch angles and restless camera. His visual style is as much a part of the shows language as the scripts.
However, none of this really explains why I feel such an affinity for this show and it's characters. Basically, I'm kind of a nerd, always have been, and it has been gratifying to see what was once arcane geek culture become so culturally excepted over the last decade or so (actually, I think it's gone too far, but that's a debate for another time). "Spaced" released in Britain in 1999 was at the forefront of this zeitgeist and remains one of it's touchstones. Following the lead of TV shows like "The Simpson's" and movies like "Clerks" it was unabashedly referential and assumed a complex understanding of popular culture in it's intended audience. For instance, nothing, no show or movie has ever milked "Star Wars" for better comic material, so everybody should just stop trying (especially "Family Guy", just please fucking stop!)
So the pop culture angle is one aspect, the other is more subjective. It's just so lovable! Seriously, these characters are all so charming and guileless that it's impossible not to like them. They can be cranky, lazy and difficult, but they never approach mean-spirited. This seems like a little thing but it's getting more and more rare in comedy. Their aspirations (and really this show is all about aspirations) in many ways echo my own at that age and I can't help but identify intensely with what they're going through no matter how silly or unlikely. I'm always sad at the end of the 14th episode but also happy that the show never wore out it's welcome

One last thing (Jesus, I can't stop writing about this show), it's awesome that Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Edgar Wright have continued to do good work together, but I do wish that they could find a project that would include Jessica Hynes. Her sightly more grounded perspective (call it "female" if you must) would be a welcome addition to their always fun but slightly boyish body of work.

LOOK AROUND YOU

Put simply, a series of very convincing but hilariously bizarre mock science films. What could have been merely a clever conceit is turned to comedy gold by the utter perfection of the execution. From the film stock to the supercilious narrator to the slightly shoddy looking laboratory sets and equipment, this is a never less than perfect recreation if the kind of educational film strips we used to be subjected to back in the 1970s (yes I'm that old). Created, written and performed (with others) by Peter Serafinowicz and Robert Popper, "Look Around You" should appeal to anyone who enjoys parody (subtle and otherwise) and can appreciate the outstanding craftsmanship. Definitely not for anyone looking for easy gags.

THE IT CROWD

The most conventional of all the shows listed here but funny is funny. The brainchild of Graham Linehan the co-creator of "Father Ted" and "Black Books" and like those other shows it embraces the multi camera, live studio audience, laugh track style of sitcom, which although somewhat unfashionable, has never gone away. Not my favourite style as a rule, but Linehan's shows really know how to use it.  The cast is small, a three person IT department for a large corporation run by a lunatic and, later, by his idiot son. The characters are not especially deep, but all the players are funny and flesh them out well.  Katherine Parkinson is Jen, the head of the department who is of course, completely computer illiterate and has ambitions to be elsewhere, Chris O'Dowd is Roy, a grumpy Irish slacker constantly frustrated with women and Richard Ayoade is Moss, the hard core tech nerd and, by far, the best character on the show. Ayoade, with his distinct delivery and body language manges to make what is essentially a cliche character into something memorable and unique.Chris Morris played the boss (hilariously) in the first series then left halfway through the second to be replaced by Matt Berry as his son Douglas. Both are funny, but I would argue Berry's character adds more to the show (Morris was, maybe just a bit  TOO crazy).
Much of the humor is based around what you would expect, technology, nerdiness, etc but at it's best the show is unfettered absurdity. If I had to recommend just two episodes one would be "The Work Outing" in which the three find themselves at the gayest gay musical ever conceived, and the second would be "Are We Not Men?" in which Moss and Roy bluff themselves into the company of some dangerous football fans. Both these episodes illustrate why "The IT Crowd" is more interesting than similar American series. Linehan is unafraid to go to for huge comic effects that American audiences would find to weird or silly. Whatever it's aesthetic limitations, this is a laugh out loud funny show.

GARTH MARENGHI'S DARKPLACE

A very silly, but quite sophisticated pastiche of a cheesy 80's supernatural action show. So niche it's a wonder it ever got made, even if it only lasted one series of 6 episodes. The Garth Marenghi of the title is a horror fiction witer/actor played by Matthew Holness who "created' the show we're watching and also introdcuces it, in character. Richard Ayoade , Matt Berry (later of both "The IT Crowd" and "The Mighty Boosh") and Alice Lowe round out the cast playing characters on the show within the show and the actors playing them in talking head interviews spread throughout the episodes.
Confused yet? Okay Lets see if I can explain. Popular horror author Garth Marenghi (Matthew Holness) created "Darkplace" a supernatural drama back in the eighties. The show was not a success, but has gained a cult reputation over the years and Marenghi hosts rebroadcasts of the show interspersed with interviews from himself and other cast members. On "Darkplace" Marenghi played Dr. Rick Dagless MD, a two fisted surgeon and overall man's man who fought supernatural menaces with the help of Dr. Lucien Sanchez (Matt Berry), Dean Lerner (Richard Ayoade) and Liz Asher (Alice Lowe).
The show within a show is pure 80's with a cheesy synth score, bad special effects and big hair on the ladies. The "dialogue" and "acting" are of course painfully bad in a perfectly convincing way. If you haven't guessed already, this is not a show for someone who cannot process irony, but if you can it's not only hilarious but will surely, like 'Look Around You", elicit great admiration for the incredible craftsmanship.

So, okay, that's what I've been up to, at least as far as viewing is concerned and I'll be posting again soon.  I have a movie review I'm going to put up either tonight or tomorrow morning.
Good to be back.

Miscellaneous snuh...

Hi, just checkin' in. I've had a bit of a busy week so I haven't typed a word. However, I am currently working on an epic post about some of my favourite books as well as one entitled "The Greatest American Actor (known to me)" (hint: it's not Marlon Brando).

Anyway, some randomness:

 I've been buying blu ray discs for just over a year now, and I have to say, they really are spectacular. Dvds are great and I still buy those as well, but I for a serious cineaste (or film geek) blu ray is definitely a worthwhile upgrade. A lot of websites that post reviews tend to emphasize newer, digitally oriented films, full of special effects and elaborate sound design. Admittedly these look spectacular but what really blows me away are the textures and details that show up in older films shot with good quality camera stock and an artist's eye towards lighting and composition. If I want to show off the virtues of blu ray to a non-believer I don't use "Star Trek "(2009) as spectacular as it is. I'm more likely to use "Apocalypse Now" or "Days of Heaven". They look that good.

I think I'm having a mid-life crisis but it's not manifesting itself in chasing younger women or faster cars. Rather for the first time in my life, I've become a hypochondriac. Every ache, pain, momentary numbness, shortness of breath or fluctuation in my heart rate sends me into a panic, usually just for a few seconds, but anything to do with my heart freaks me the hell out. If anybody knows the cardiac history of my family, this isn't as crazy as it sounds. Anyway, that's what I'm dealing with. How the hell are you?

Speaking of mid-life, am I too old to own a remote control Dalek and a Punisher t-shirt? Fuck you, am not.

A few weeks ago I was watching a "Daily Show" segment with the delightful Kristin Schaal. Anyway, she's come up with a new type pornstar name generator. Allow me to explain further if you're confused. The traditional manner of generating a quick porn name is to use a beloved pet and the street you grew up on. For me this works beautifully with "Crash Slater".
Anyway, she suggested using your favourite alcoholic beverage in combination with your greatest fear. I remain unconvinced. Although some good names could arise like "Brandy Sharks" or "Vodka Intimacy", I'm afraid that overall, it's too unwieldy a system. I don't think I could make a living with the name "Single Malt Scotch Stroke-On-The-Toilet."
 Just sayin'.

Hey Steve, you probably have a pretty good idea who I consider the greatest American actor, or at least my short list. Keep it to yourself, would ya?

OBLIGATORY OSCAR POST-MORTEM

Wow, the oscars really sucked this year!

OBLIGATORY OSCAR POST

I know they're meaningless, I'm aware that they have little to do with actual merit and that frequently the most deserving not only don't win but are often not even nominated. Still, I watch the Academy Awards every year. I try not to miss them. The fact is, they are the only time of the year that a major network turns over 3 1/2 to 4 hours of prime air time to focus the eyes of the world on the art of cinema. I don't care about red carpets or who the actresses are wearing, and I'm only marginally interested in the door prizes themselves but at least it's a celebration, as shallow and abrasive as it can be, of the movies and the people who make them.

I've been thinking all week about how I would organize this post and I've decided to be pretty loose about it. There's no way I'm going to go through every category and besides, there are only four in which I've seen every nominee. Those would be supporting actor, director, adapted screenplay and best picture. I'll give my predictions and picks for the major nominees, spend some time discussing the best picture contenders and then maybe add a few things I hope will happen tonight. So, okay then. The Nominees are:

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

127 Hours - Danny Boyle & Simon Beaufoy

The Social Network - Aaron Sorkin

Toy Story 3 - Michael Arndt (screenplay); Joh Lasseter, Andrew Staunton and Lee Unkrich (story)*

True Grit - Joel and Ethan Coen

Winter's Bone - Debra Granik and Anne Rosellini


Will Win: Aaron Sorkin

Might Win: N/A (it's a lock)

What I Would Like to Win: I'm actually okay with this one. As a writer Sorkin can be glib, self-righteous and oh-so-precious but this is a smart, entertaining, beautifully constructed script. By far the best thing he has ever done. I'd also be cool with Winter's Bone winning but that ain't gonna happen.

" Wait a minute. What the hell is Toy Story 3 "adapted" from? Is it a true story or something?


ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Another Year - Mike Leigh

The Fighter - Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy and Eric Johnson (screenplay) Keith Dorrington, Paul Tamasy and Eric Johnson (story)

Inception - Christopher Nolan

The Kids Are All Right - Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg.

The King's Speech - David Seidler


Will Win: David Seidler

Might Win: Another lock

Haven't Seen: Another Year (and shame on me, Mike Leigh is almost always great)

What I Would Like to Win:  Toss up. Inception was ingeniously constructed but The King's Speech is actually pretty moving. Either would be fine.


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Christian Bale - The Fighter

John Hawkes - Winter's Bone

Jeremy Renner - The Town

Mark Ruffalo - The Kids Are All Right

Geoffrey Rush - The King's Speech


Will Win: Christian Bale

Might Win: Geoffrey Rush (but I doubt it)

Who I'd Like to Win: John Hawkes. Like all of the cast of Winter's Bone, I never caught Hawkes "acting". Can't say that about the others.


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Amy Adams - The Fighter

Helena Bonham Carter - The King's Speech

Melissa Leo - The Fighter

Hailee Steinfeld - True Grit

Jacki Weaver - Animal Kingdom


Will Win: Melissa Leo

Might Win: Helena Bonham Carter

Haven't Seen: Jacki Weaver

Who I'd Like to Win: Totally fine with Leo. A great actress who deserves her due.



BEST ACTOR

Javier Bardem - Biutiful

Jeff Bridges - True Grit

Jesse Eisenberg - The Social Network

Colin Firth - The King's Speech

James Franco - 127 Hours


Will Win: Colin Firth

Might Win: ANOTHER lock

Haven't Seen: Javier Bardem

Who I'd Like to Win: Firth is fine by me.


BEST ACTRESS

Annette Bening - The Kid's Are All Right

Nicole Kidman - Rabbit Hole

Jennifer Lawrence - Winter's Bone

Natalie Portman - Black Swan

Michelle Williams - Blue Valentine


Will Win: Natalie Portman

Might Win: Annette Bening

Haven't Seen: Nicole Kidman, Michelle Williams

Who I'd Like to Win: Jennifer Lawrence. Her performance was subtle and intelligent with no opportunity for showboating. Portman and Bening are both terrific but Lawrence most resembled an actual human being. I do wish I'd seen Michelle Williams.


BEST DIRECTOR

Darren Aronofsky - Black Swan

David O. Russell - The Fighter

Tom Hooper - The King's Speech

David Fincher -The Social Network

Joel Coen and Ethan Coen - True Grit


Will Win: David Fincher

Might Win: Tom Hooper (unlikely and a travesty if it did happen)

Who I'd Like to Win: Fincher, no question. I love the Coen Brothers but it's David Fincher's year.


BEST PICTURE

I'm going to do Best Picture a bit differently. I'm going to list the nominees in what I consider their order of merit. Then I'll say why and reveal which I think will actually win.

10. 127 HOURS

9. THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT

8. INCEPTION

7. TOY STORY 3

6. THE FIGHTER

5. THE KING'S SPEECH

4. BLACK SWAN

3. TRUE GRIT

2. WINTER'S BONE

1. THE SOCIAL NETWORK



It's not that I think 127 HOURS is a bad film. James Franco is excellent and Danny Boyle does a pretty good job of rendering a fairly static situation in a cinematic way through editing, camera angles, the use of the camcorder etc. However, the situation, although unquestionably dramatic, did not hold my interest for even the relatively short running time of 93 minutes. Basically, you end up just waiting for the big unpleasant scene to happen, and although that is rendered well for maximum effect it's just not enough.

THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT is a good, well meaning film with terrific acting. It's also unimaginative and riddled with cliches. It's sad that in 2011 a film can still be considered progressive, even radical, just because it dares to portray an "alternative" family unit and treat it as normal. Don't get me wrong, that is a very good thing indeed, the film really has it's heart in the right place.  However, that doesn't prevent it from being, in my opinion aesthetically and dramatically dull. It feels like a well made TV movie, no more.

I've already written on this blog about INCEPTION. It's a smart entertaining movie with an ingeniously layered structure. Unfortunately I found it emotionally remote and it's portrayal of dreaming and dreamworlds to be sadly flat and literal.

TOY STORY 3 is a fine film, beautifully crafted, funny and poignant. It also feels a just a little smug in it's ability to push our collective buttons. Pixar films are always very well made, but they are rarely truly surprising or innovative.

I liked THE FIGHTER a lot, but I was not blind to it's predictability or it's conventionality.

THE KING'S SPEECH was actually a pleasant surprise. I'm on record as not being a fan of a) the royal family or d b) British Oscar bait. Turns out the film is undeniably effective, with a good literate screenplay and a fantastic cast.

BLACK SWAN is basically trash, and derivative trash at that. It's also, wonderful, passionate, go-for-broke cinema.

I loved everything about TRUE GRIT. Strong performances, quotable dialogue painterly cinematography and a familiar story that still works a treat. I'm going to cherish this movie for years to come.

WINTER'S BONE stuck with me for weeks. It felt entirely true and was so quietly powerful I just couldn't shake it off. I couldn't be more pleased to see it get multiple nominations. I hope star Jennifer Lawrence has a long, rewarding career.

THE SOCIAL NETWORK is not only flawlessly crafted but it's the nominated film that speaks most directly to who we are at this moment and time and where we are headed. For that, and for David Fincher's exquisite execution, it deserves the win.



WILL WIN: THE KING'S SPEECH

It's based (loosely I hear) on history, is about a noble (literally in this case) character overcoming an affliction, it's British (never hurts) and has a real "rooting factor", something THE SOCIAL NETWORK doesn't really have at all.
  

MIGHT WIN/SHOULD WIN: THE SOCIAL NETWORK

One last thing, as I look over the entire list of nominees I see one that would make me very happy. I would love to see the great Roger Deakins win best cinematography for his work on TRUE GRIT. One of the world's great cameramen, often nominated, but has never won. Here's hoping this is his year.

Enjoy the show

My "very pleased to meet you" list.

This is a list of people (in the arts, media, pop culture, what have you) that I like, but not just for their work. I like them as people. You know how there are some people you admire but you don't necessarily think that they'd be someone you'd like to know?  For instance, I have no idea what I'd say to Cormac McCarthy if we met, or Werner Herzog. I admire both of these men intensely, but I don't know what we'd have to say to one another. I guess what it comes down to, is that this is a list of people who (I think) I would like to meet and talk to. That's all. I'm not saying they're the best, or most important in their fields, it's just that I consistently like, not just their work, but what they have to say and the way they conduct themselves.

I've over explained haven't I? Oh well, let's get on with it then.

SARAH VOWELL    ( Author, Essayist, Journalist, Radio Personality)

A consistently delightful cultural commentator who I first observed trading quips with Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, this native of Muskogee, Oklahoma is a frequent contributor to "This American Life" on NPR, author of six books and was the voice of Violet in Pixar's "The Incredibles. I've never read an interview or watched an appearance by her where she was less than completely engaging. Her primary topics are politics, history and occasionally pop culture and her take on all these is funny and accessible while remaining sharp and insightful. Anyway, I think it would be amazing to meet her and get her take on all the days events, perhaps over drinks or coffee. My only fear would be boring her. She strikes me as someone who does not suffer fools well.

GUILLERMO DEL TORO   (Filmmaker, Author)

To listen to one of Del Toro's DVD commentaries is to get a master level lecture on, all aspects of film making, myths and legends, horror, pulp fiction, art and literature liberally sprinkled with earthy humour, self deprecating wit and lots of gratuitous "f-bombs".
Born in Guadalajara, Del Toro has risen from being a makeup artist for low budget Mexican television to one of the foremost names in horror and fantasy film making. All of his films from his most commercial (Blade 2, the Hellboy movies) to his most personal (Cronos, Pan's Labyrinth) display the unique visual style and unfettered imagination of a true artist. I would go as far as to say he's the best designer of monsters since the great Ray Harryhausen. He is also the co-author of  the "Strain Trilogy" a series of vampire novels combining his encyclopedic knowledge of folklore with a forensic obsession with realistic physical detail. They aren't great literature but they are pulp of a very high order. Nothing wrong with that.
On top of this he is a kind, generous hearted person who always has times for friends and fans, making him one of the most beloved people in the industry. I would love, more than anything to be taken on a guided tour of "Bleak House" his "man cave" where he stores all his treasures, from movie props to valuable antiques and rare books devoted to legends, myths, fairy tales and other esoterica.

KARI BYRON   (Artist, Mythbuster, Stone Cold Hottie)

Smart, sexy, with a passion for science, education and high explosives. What's not to like?
Before Mythbusters, she graduated magna cum laude from San Francisco State University with a degree in film and sculpture. However, for the last seven years she's been joyously building, experimenting on and destroying all manner of things in the name of science and entertainment. She's even the host of her own show "Head Rush" on the science channel intended to get children and teenagers interested in science. Funny, charming and totally comfortable in her own skin, she'd be a lot of fun to spend a day with (at the bomb range of course.)
Oh yeah, and for my money she's the most attractive woman on television. Just sayin'.

NEIL GAIMAN   (Writer, Geek Icon)

Of all the people on this list Neil Gaiman is probably the one with the most devoted fans. One of a small but important group of English writers who revolutionised the comic book industry, he first gained notoriety in 1988 with his brilliant series for DC, "The Sandman" which not only ranks as one of the greatest "graphic novels" of all time but is one of the key texts in modern fantasy literature. He has gone on to write, not only more outstanding comics, but screenplays, television scripts and several bestselling novels and short story collections. Also, his online journal is one of the most consistently entertaining blogs known to me.
Needless to say I am a fan of his work, but it's more than that. Every interview with him, blog post he's written or article about him I've ever read reveals a genuinely charming , humble and witty personality. Someone who is generous with both his time and talent, respectful and polite to fans and just a cool guy. Why wouldn't you want to meet him?

KEVIN SMITH   (Filmmaker, Podcast Mogul, Racontuer)

Here's the thing about Kevin Smith. He's become, through his network of podcasts, an almost constant presence in my life. Basically I feel like I already know him, and even though he can be a bit annoying, even obnoxious, I like the guy. As an artist he's hit and miss. I like some of his films and find others almost completely uninteresting, but still my fondness remains. I like that a regular guy from a lower middle class background in New Jersey was able to scrape together enough cash to make a small, profane movie that hit a chord with his generation and that he's been able to spin that into a career spanning almost 20 years. I've watched and been to, a few of his Q&As and he's a great talker, frank and funny with a real talent for turning anecdotes into epic comic tales. His podcasts are rambling, dirty and completely hilarious. Kevin is like that guy we all know who can be a bit overbearing sometimes but is good hearted and fun to be around. Good guy.

KIM MORGAN  (Movie Critic/Blogger)

Somewhere in the world there lives an ethereal blonde who's romantic ideal is  Warren Oates as "Bennie" the doomed anti-hero of Sam Peckinpah's "Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia". What more do you need to know?
Okay, I'll tell you a little more. Her blog is entitled "Sunset Gun" and her writing is concise and insightful while never losing the passion of a real film fanatic. On her website you'll find outstanding essays devoted to particular, films, directors and actors, but also subjects as diverse as garage rock and classic muscle cars. She has appeared as guest host on Ebert and Roeper and hopefully will be a semi-regular comtributor to Ebert's new PBS show. Lately, she's also become something a muse for wildly eccentric Winnepeg filmmaker Guy Maddin, appearing in some short films and photo essays. If you have any interest in cinema or popular culture I highly recommend you visit her site.

PATTON OSWALT   (Comedian, Actor, Author)

First and foremost Oswalt is a brilliant stand up comic, one of my current favourites. I made the mistake of listening to some of his material on my iPod while riding on a crowded train and made quite the fool of myself trying, unsuccessfully, to stifle hysterical laughter. He's also a talented actor (check out his dramatic turn in the film "Big Fan", seriously, do it) and continues to grow as a writer. His first book of essays "Zombie, Spaceship, Wasteland" is frequently hilarious but also surprisingly poignant and confessional. An enthusiast of film, comics and literature, Oswalt and I have a lot in common and I think he's somebody with whom I could have a genuine conversation. In some interviews he does seem guarded but I think that's a question of respect.

NICK FROST, EDGAR WRIGHT & SIMON PEGG    (A fun trio of Englishmen)

Originally I was only going to write about Edgar Wright, filmmaker, encyclopedic movie geek and man after my own heart. However, after thinking about it, I had to include his friends and comrades-in-arms Pegg and Frost the co-stars of  "Spaced","Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz". On the DVD for "Hot Fuzz" there's a lengthy documentary following the three of them around the U.S.promoting the film and it's a joy. No matter how tired and frustrated they are by the endless and repetitive interviews, the amount of fun they  manage have is infectious and made me want to be there. I've enjoyed all of Edgar's films up to and including, "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" and will continue to seek out whatever he creates. It is is work with these other two clowns for which I have to most affection however, and I really look forward to their next project together. In particular, their TV show "Spaced' is one of my all time favourite pop culture creations and a subject I plan to write about sometime soon.
Oh, before I forget, Simon Pegg makes a splendid Scotty in the re-booted "Star Trek" franchise and his memoir "Nerd Do Well' is hilarious.


That'll do for know I guess. Like most subjects on this blog, I'm sure I'll revisit it some day. Some thoughts though:

I'm am very aware of how nerdy this list is. Wonder what that says about me? Anyway, it could be worse, I thought about including the cast of "Firefly".

No musicians, curious that. I think it's mainly because most of my favourite musicians are old, cranky and intimidating. I'm sure I'll think of somebody next time. Elvis Costello might be good.

Anybody who knows me well will have one question: "Where the hell is Tina Fey?"
Excellent question, but I think I'll save anything I have to say about Ms. Fey for a later date. For instance, I'm sure I'll write about 30 Rock one of these days.
Suffice to say, love her like crazy.

Anyway, feel free to name any of your own candidates in a comment below. After all, we're having a conversation here, aren't we?