Mom

I lost my Mother very suddenly. I was awoken early on a Sunday morning (sick as a dog with stomach flu) with news of her heart attack and by the time I went to sleep that night she was gone. I wasn't able to say"good bye" or "I love you" or to tell her any of the things I wanted to that day. It didn't seem real and it still doesn't.

When my 14 year old cat died I could cry freely and then move on, that was just a pet. In the days following my Mother's passing, I shed tears but fewer than I would have thought. There was too much to do, too many other people to deal with and besides I never wanted to move on. I still don't.

I'm not talking about some morbid denial of the facts, I'm talking about something positive and sustaining. My Mother remains a real presence in my life and will until the day I die. My life and how I live it are expressions of my upbringing. How could they not be? I'm trying to avoid platitudes here, but I am the man I am today because I grew up never doubting for a moment that I was loved.

It's easy, and entirely appropriate, to say "I Love You" on Mother's Day and I certainly would if I could. In retrospect, however, the thing I wish I'd said more often is "Thank You".  To any of you out there who still have the opportunity to say this, do so today.
For that matter, say it as often as you can.

Thank you Mom.